A Good Mother: Day in the Life Sunday

Friday was my daughter's last day with her day care provider. We first entrusted the wonderful team of providers with the care and safety of our 12 week old baby girl. 12 years later, we say good-bye. It's rather bittersweet. My little girl is growing up. 

Four-wheeling dress

I work. I have always worked and when I was pregnant, I thought about not working but chose to continue. It was absolutely, undeniably hard not being with my daughter during the day but through the worst of times, I always knew my daughter was in good hands when she wasn't with me. 

I remember one time in particular (there were many) coming painfully face to face with my decision to work when a very wise neighbor told me, "good mothers find good care for their daughters."  I was a good mother.

A good mother knows she can't be with her daughter all the time so she ensures she is surrounded by people who will care for her as she grows. My daughter is confident, strong, smart and an amazing human being. She is caring, patient and kind. The younger kids swarm to her like bees in a hive and she always has a lap, an arm or a story to share.

So, Dee Dee, Angie, Denise, Desiree, Steph, Beth, Sheila, Lee, Molly, Heather and the rest of the providers who taught her, made her laugh and kept her safe - thank you.

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What advice would my wise neighbor have for me for the next few years as we move into the new school year, middle school swim teams, friends, fashion and the teens?  What has guided you?

Got Some Parental Angst? A Day in the Life Sunday

Parenting is joyful yet we face some bumps along the way. One bump for me as a parent is knowing when an angst I have is more about me than my child. ​

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Parents are told to guide and protect while allowing their child to make decisions and live with the consequences of the choices she makes. When it comes to safety and security, the decisions are mine. It's innocuous situations that cause me to stop and question my intentions.

So, the kid is on a competitive swim team and for a number of reasons, i.e. spring breaks and winter storms in April, she hasn't swam consistently for a few weeks. I know from repeating personal experiences how easy it is to fall off the fitness wagon, how it feels to go from tortoise to hare and how hard it is to get back into shape. I share this with kid, kid is torn because she wants to please me, I realize this was my angst, I stop talking and sigh. Yes, an athlete has to practice to get better but at that moment, it wasn't about swim times; it was about a mother (still not sure where her "push line" should be) quieting down to listen to her daughter.

Did she swim that night? No. ​And not the following night either. She was sick. She did swim the rest of the week with her team and on her own Saturday and Sunday. She's swimming a 500 yard free next weekend - her longest race ever - and wants to do her best. 

She's twelve with limited life experiences. I have more experiences - and more filters. I can't separate myself from my filters. They are there, I'll watch for them and when I see them, I will stop and listen to the spoken and unspoken words of my daughter.

What else is a parent to do?